Some of my story (full version) / Less than 5-min. read
My faith in creativity defines me more than anything else these days, especially now at this socio-cultural-political threshold where our creativity is desperately needed — and yet, most of us have been raised, socialized, educated, entertained, and trained in ways that tend to undermine exactly this part of our humanity. It’s common for people to live entire lives without understanding what their own creativity even is, never mind how it works, how to take care of it, or why it matters in the larger scheme of things. Things like harm-repair, harm-prevention, reciprocity with nature, healthy relationships, and making alternatives to the toxic status quo all require hands-on experiential fluency with creative action, creative process, creative repetition/stamina, and familiarity with the mechanics/magics of creativity.
Creativity has been at the heart of my path for over 25 years. I see it as the spiritual force that’s been braiding together the threads of my seemingly disparate early passions for art, activism, and therapy… which now feel integrated into what I call a “wholly trinity.”
I now see zero contradiction between my earliest interests in art/music subcultures & radical social movements & direct activism, and my eventual stepping away to focus on my own health and recovery from the effects o various traumatic experiences: narcissistic abuse in childhood, being the family scapegoat, being socialized in a white male supremacist colonizer capitalist consumerist patriarchy, and being parented and educated in ways that undermine authenticity and creativity in service of the status quo.
All three interests come from my lifelong sense that 1. something is very wrong with the world 2. I don’t aspire to be well-adjusted or agreeable to that world, and 3. I need to explore possible pathways to some kind of truth, healing, justice, or repair around all of the above. They each seek some kind of meaningful connection, some kind of love. They each attend to places in self and society where injury has been inflicted (and either denied or rationalized), where dehumanization and lovelessness have been normalized.
The repair of my own creativity and my commitment to it started right after college (1997), when I was finally free from the expectations of academia and family. One of the very first things I did at the recommendation of a friend was to complete The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, a famous self-help course in creative recovery, by Julia Cameron. Despite growing up atheist, I resonated with its spiritual Basic Principles right off the bat, and I credit those sensibilities with guiding me through a number of crucial moments and crossroads in the years that lay ahead — first and foremost, through a tenuous adventure/crisis phase that lasted at least a few years and included homelessness, travel/transience, activism, and a painful break-up that severely inflamed my CPTSD symptoms from my completely unaddressed childhood trauma. This landed me in the office of an amazing childhood trauma therapist who helped me to understand what was happening, and how to create safety and start reparenting myself.
The trauma therapy unexpectedly released the stuckness I had around my visual art. I experienced a prolific outflow, and new types of imagery naturally emerged in my drawings. Eventually I had a nice pile of work, got some of it scanned and printed, then started having little art shows of my prints and originals around town. I received a lot of encouraging feedback and interest from viewers. I also started participated more in community-based group art forms like: Sacred Harp singing, an intergenerational dance/performance company, a spoken word poetry scene, and eventually the local band music scene. I served on the Northampton Arts Council for three years, started facilitating my own expressive arts workshops, and became a core member of a scrappy arts collective/non-profit.
The only “leadership” or “team player” position I’d ever truly wanted (and am extremely well-suited for) was DRUMMER. I’d wanted to play since I was in 5th grade, but was thwarted by lack of support at home, lack of relevant opportunities at school or in the local community, and lack of relatable role models in adult male dominated 1980s/90s rock culture (mainstream and indie/alternative) that I grew up consuming. Finally, in 2013 (at age 38), I took it seriously. I started drum lessons, practiced a lot, got my own kit, and was in my first gigging band by 2015. The second band I joined was Ex-Temper, and I was their drummer for seven years, 2016-2023. I was also in a fun trio, Psychic Energy 2018-2020, with Candace Clement (All Feels, Bunny’s a Swine ) and Josh Levy (Outro).
Becoming a late-blooming musician led to further community involvement and leadership working at and helping to rebrand Downtown Sounds (music instruments, lessons, and repair) through its transition to becoming a worker-owned business and a less intimidating environment after it had been owned by one guy since the 1970s. It had somewhat of a mixed reputation amongst locals. Not only did I get to learn a ton about music gear and the retail side of it, also a male-dominated industry, but I was also in charge of managing, marketing, and improving the Music School. I became a new and encouraging/welcoming presence for other adult beginners, girls, women, and gnc people.
Over all these years — 1997 until now — no matter what’s happening in my life, my foundational practice that I first learned in The Artist’s Way (initially the form of “Morning Pages”) continues to be JOURNALING / FILLING NOTEBOOKS. I’m over 130 full journals as of January 2025. My practice ebbs, flows, and evolves over the years in terms of how regularly I do it, when I do it, what exactly I do in the pages, and how many notebooks I go through in a year.
Follow my instagram to see glimpses from my notebooks and sketchbooks!
I have a lot more to say about my own story with creativity, and its role in change/transformation beyond the individual. I’m especially interested in the dicey period in my 20s when my life was at a crossroads and could have taken a very different route. That’s why I’m attempting to write a book!
~DANA
